“Waiting for the Person, i have to become”

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When i was kid a lot of people told me who i need to be but as soon as years passes by their suggestions seem blurred to the personality i have created for myself. The less assuming and much more mysterious to those who are not that close too me. Some people always asked me to be happy more about the life I’m living but i never seems to understand that why they think I’m not happy with my life. Well i have a second thought about it too and that is because I’m a person who knows the dark side of the life or any person i meet. I cherish the sad stories and i admire those who have been to the darkest days of their life , but people giving me a title as a “sad soul” i could never related to.I never understand what is wrong in feeling someone’s pain inside your chest or worrying a bit about their life too. whats so wrong about it?

Well, when i look back to years i have lived  the reflection send me the glimpse of an image what i used to be and that is no more the person i m today . I have done a lot of mistakes in life and a lot of good things that have helped me to create the image i see of myself now. A person with no Regrets(not in arrogant way ). The moment of mistakes that i have done was indeed was the terrible emotion flood inside my vein but now i have forgave myself for it because at the end of the day I’m a human too ! I’ve learned and i lived and there is a lot more to do, i believe.

May be because of people i have come to meet , to know  have confused me today to be a person i wanted to be because when you are a kid its seems like being what you want and being what you need are the same thing but nah !!! that’s trick of innocence . Things are easier when you are a just kid  as you don’t have to go into details of everything !but once you are young lady(or man) into the world of reality things turned out to be different .Society, people , culture , perspective of people in the way they imagine you or in the way you should be according to them is hardest part to deal with but once you learn how to cope with then it become a habit to do so.

I have image of a person i want to be but little blurred,unclear as i have not chosen any celebrity to become nor the famous artist. I still don’t know what i want to be but there is something very intense in a way it feels that it must be something great !!! Yeehooo…..yes “GREAT”

I track things that’s “My thing”, actually my boss taught me to do so but now it is more like torture to him when i remind him to track his own life.I have come realization that  took a lot of piece of people to be what i want to be , who were and are the part of my journey call life. I Picked the facts i notice and like the most about them. like my boss taught me to be more determine toward the goals of life (though i don’t have any specific goals but looking at him reminds and taught me a lot )self driven person towards his business, a person who don’t even remember his own b’ day that comes once in a year. Like my mother how she act of kindness to everyone she meet. Her Kindness and empathy has sparkles me a lot or the strangers on the way to home or anywhere, the smiles that make me feel good so i smile at them back to keep the game balanced and a lot of people awaken a lot of things inside me that few year back the line i don’t have any realization of. Everyone has something to teach you, everyone has to learn from in life. I admire people for the way handle their life with full of struggles and glory. these things help me to sketch the perfect masterpiece i have been waiting for so long to become.the very best person i can be is the best of me.I’m waiting for the that day as you wait for the rain in the big hot sunny day or the you wait for night come after your heavy scheduled day.That is where my heart is at calm.because i wanna die on my death’s bed stating that “yes, i did it ! I did it all” !

 

 

 

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